Not Even Close

            When we look at other people, the first thing we notice is almost always their appearance. In a place where most people are wearing jogging pants, shorts, shirts, and rubber shoes, who wouldn’t notice a man in a cyan-colored polo shirt, dark denim pants, and closed shoes?

            He was a slightly tall man with a lean build. He sat at his table at Max’s Restaurant, looking intently over the menu. When finally the waiter left with his order, he leaned back on his chair with his head resting backwards, looking somehow bored. He would occasionally glance at his phone, which he held in front with his right hand, giving off the impression that he was a busy man. With his Chinese features and semi-formal attire, he did in fact look like a wealthy businessman.

            He had a serious look on his face, and a rather intimidating aura about him. He didn’t appear to be approachable, and he certainly didn’t look like he could joke around. But he was obviously educated and well mannered. He seemed like someone who is used to having his own way, one who grew up as a spoiled rich kid from a privileged family. He looks like he is used to giving orders and has not worked a day in his life.

            What then is such a person doing in a place like the Quezon City Memorial Circle?

Staying physically fit

William. His name sounded oddly too common for someone who looked so different from everyone else. Before he decided to eat in the restaurant, he was actually jogging alone earlier in the morning around QC Circle. This revelation shocked me. He didn’t strike me as a health-conscious person, or someone concerned with physical fitness at all. He has been doing this monthly exercise for ten years now and always comes to QC Circle because it is only two kilometers away from his home.

It didn’t surprise me, though, that he has never tried joining group exercises or dancing lessons around the circle. He seems like a person who prefers to be by himself. He jogs alone and has never been accompanied by anyone.

He sees the results of his exercise on his body’s condition and general health. When I look back to his appearance, I realized that he does in fact look fit and in good shape. He isn’t very muscular but he doesn’t look scrawny or lanky at all.

His monthly routine is important for him to maintain his good health, especially because he's not getting any younger and he still has a lot he wants to do in life. Perhaps it is because I’m still young, or simply lazy, that I cannot discipline myself enough to regularly exercise. Because of this, I find that I admire people who take the time to care for their bodies.

Working for his family

Mister William has a wife and two kids, a boy and a girl. He cares a lot for his family as revealed by the way he talks about them. He knows that he has a lot of responsibilities as both a husband and a father. He is responsible for caring for his family, supporting them, and providing for their needs.

It is extremely heartening to know that he not only knows his responsibilities but also actually acts on fulfilling them. I may have correctly guessed that he has a family, but I didn’t think he was the kind who always thought of his family first.

To support his family, he earns by working in an import company where he's part of the marketing team. He loves his job and his colleagues. He earns enough and loves the kind of lifestyle he has but when asked whether he is satisfied with his life, he replied without hesitation, “I want more.”

He particularly wants to put up his own furniture business in the future, but understands that there will always be a risk if he treads that path. If he is not careful, it might affect his family’s financial stability. He is not planning to pursue his idea just yet. I asked him what he would do if he had a 100% chance of success but he shook his head at once. He doesn't believe in it. He doesn't even want to think about it. Yet despite knowing and accepting this fact, he still dares to hope that one day he can put up the business he has always dreamed of owning.

Revealing himself

When asked what other people say about him, Mr. William says he doesn't know. He reveals himself to be the kind of person that doesn't mind what other people say about him. He doesn’t even care that he doesn’t know what they think of him. He says all that matters is that you get along and have a good relationship with others. What they say about you is insignificant.

            Although I agree with his idea, it is difficult to act on it. Most people do in fact mind what others say about them and it is hard to turn a deaf ear and ignore what they say. I personally always listen to what others say about me – a people-pleaser, so to say.

I had thought he was a serious, no-nonsense person. Yet, with an unexpected smile, Mr. William describes himself as a friendly person. He was quick to disagree, however, when I suggested he was a cheerful and energetic person. He waved his hands in front, dismissing the idea with an amused smile, as if the thought of him as cheerful and energetic was almost a joke. He likes himself as he is. But at the same time, he also wants to be the kind of person who can adjust to the different kinds of people he interacts with. This way of thinking is consistent with his beliefs that getting along with people is what counts most.

Handling his problems

           

Like everyone else, Mr. William also has his fair share of problems. As the kind who enjoys his life, he has his way of solving them. He looks at all his problems, and then tries to solve them one by one.

According to Mr. William, the first thing to do is to figure out what’s wrong and what’s right. Once you know what’s wrong, then fix it.

This very direct approach to his problems would have undoubtedly surprised me had he said this when I first talked to him. But because I now know more than just what I thought about him, I didn’t find it weird at all that he turned out to be the kind of person who faces his problems head-on instead of escaping them.

A man of values

            In the short time that I got to know different sides of Mr. William, one of the things that stood out were his values. He seems to have a very clear distinction of what he should and should not do. What is very admirable is that he seems to stick to what he’s supposed to do and doesn’t go against his beliefs. It’s amazing how he believes in one thing and he makes sure to stand by it, giving no exceptions to anyone, regardless of their relationship with him.

He shows that he has a strong sense of justice. “If it’s wrong, then it’s wrong. Even if they are your friends, you have to tell them that what they are doing is wrong. Even if it hurts other people, you have to tell them what is right.”

Doing the right thing may not be the easiest decision but Mr. William says he will still do the right thing. He shows that he is consistent in his beliefs, morals, and in following his established principles.

First impressions aren’t always true

            I thought he was a somehow formal and very strict person. I imagined he would be the calculating, judging, and picky kind. More than that, I thought he was a materialistic person. But I wasn’t even close to the truth.

            He turned out to be a very friendly and accommodating person; he was the very opposite of picky. He adjusts to the people he talks to and even wants to be the kind that can get along with any kind of person he deals with. He never even sounded materialistic at all. He’s just realistic and practical, and even then, he still dreams.

            Appearances may say something about a person, but this man proves it doesn’t say everything. A girl in class you’ve labeled as a nerd may turn out to be a hardcore rocker, or the bullied guy you’ve ignored for years may become your best friend. 

        If I didn't talk to Mr. William, I would still believe he was what I first thought he was - unapproachable, intimidating, materialistic. But after looking beyond his physical appearance, I was able to hear his opinion, see the world from his point of view, learn of his principles, and know the person underneath his serious face.